Ozzy Man Reviews: Nutcracker Compilation

Welcome to NUT SHOTS Twenty’19. I’m a bit confused as to how this video results in a nut shot. It’s just sheilas grooming a sheep. Where’s he going? Oh, I see, he can smell the cameraman’s ballsack. He thinks it’s a threat. OHHHHH! Got him! Cinematographer down! I dunno what show this is, but it’s the best episode of the season. Baseball now! Bottom of the ninth. Pitch goes wide! SMOOSH! That was a nut seeking missile. The ball had a score to settle with those testes. Oopsy, oopsy daisies. Fly ball out to left field aaand RIGHT in the babymaker. I’m not sure what’s more impressive: the fact he was running fast enough to reach the ball, or that he almost caught it with his fucken dick. – “I’m gonna see if I can throw a boomerang.” Are ya mate? This is like a First Person Boomeranging video game. It’s a solid throw! The boomerang is doing what it’s meant to. It’s coming baaack… – “Aaaaaaaa”. Tennis is a polite sport. It’s so polite that when the ball boy gets ball boy’d, he takes it like a champ. “Did that one crack 200 k’s? It feels like it.” The player checks to make sure he won’t sue. He doesn’t know how. The audience gives him a clap as he limps to hospital. Umpire says “new balls.” Situational awareness is KEY when avoiding testicular injuries while running. Even in sports like pole vaulting! FUCK! That was actually a good vault if you think about it. Perfect execution, and right in the one-eyed snake. Give him the gold. Here’s One Direction doing nothing. OH! Got him in the Styles. The only thing that hurts more than that is Harry and Zayn quitting the band. Yep, he is falling in one direction. HA HA HA! Aaa… This bloke sets up for a sweet ski grind but decides to grind with his nuts. At least there’s ice available. This skateboarder approaches – Ollies – Nails it and NAILS the family jewels. Fuck me, that one was horrifying. This guy plans ahead, hoping to avoid an accident, Aaand… he fucken doesn’t. You’d think roller blades would be safer than skateboarding. You would be dead wrong. This bloke adds a spinny spin- Nah. He cannot escape the Genital Gods. His time was up. He’s trying to outrun the pain. His mates find him down the road, airing out the wound. Sure, an electric skateboard will give you the hang time needed to avoid a hit to the balls. Actually, no it won’t. This guy’s like “I don’t grind rails. I’m a kickflip specialist. My nuts are safer.” No, they’re not. They’re not. Anyway, this video has been bloodier than the Red Wedding, so let’s end on a wholesome note. Gender reveal videos are popular on the internet. OHHHHH my god! Oh it’s a boy! Thank fuck! The family tree can continue, cuz it’s… yeah, his dick is dead.


  1. Yeah… let's just console the fucking ram/sheep/whatever… don't worry about teh camera man, just see if the stupid animal is OKAY ladies! As bad as the last women!

  2. Nice to see one Ozzy Man's dedication to continuing the legacy left by Australia's Funniest Hone Videos.
    Brings a tear to me eye.
    Advance Australia Fair plays

  3. When I was a wee lad, I was dared to walk atop the length of a split-rail fence by my older Brother. I slipped, my legs went in opposite directions … and that was when I learned an older Brother’s sole purpose in life is to make their younger Brother’s life a living hell.

  4. Thank you Ozzy for continuing the awesome tradition of Mike Strutter! There's plenty of material out there for you to roll out a daily video of such caliber!

  5. A man fact for the opposite gender:

    We men have shared senses.

    When a comrade of ours has their nuts cracked, we can feel it too.

  6. … Dead⚰️ dick?… Nothing that good ol Viagra can't fix 💊.. Might be a bit crooked but.. Still workable from an angle? 🤔

  7. I think we all know how the gender reveal argument goes by the look on his girls face. Damn it Brent I couldn't even get my chalky thing open before your balls ruined the reveal just like what's in your balls is going to ruin my body with your satanic spawn.

  8. As a guy, this video was funny at first but got harder to watch towards the end. Isn't it weird how you could watch people who are unknown to you get shot, punched, killed and you'd feel nothing but if you see a dude get hit in the nuts, you immediately sympathize with him.

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