Ozzy Man Reviews: Ninja Fails


Welcome back. Today we’re looking at Ninja’s failing something as old as YouTube itself. Yep, he’s K.O.ed. When becoming a ninja, it’s important to practice. Your ninja ring on top of a mountain. It’s spiritual, you can get in touch with your inner chi, Look at this guy. He is just on fuckin fire. It’s like watching a real ninja. – “We’ve dropped the nun-chucks.” If you can’t be asked climbing a mountain, then just stay inside and fight inanimate objects. They’re not that much of a challenge and they’re not gonna hurt ya – “Aaaaaey…” Unless they turn out to be absolute tough motherfuckers. – “Aaaaaey…” C’mon mate. You can do it. Yes. Keep the bricks in the nuts. That’s right. Who’s to say, they don’t have genitals like the rest of us? Yeah he heh, got them. That’s a win. You gotta have respect when you lose as a ninja though. Look at this guy, he bows to the bricks. Here’s a real-life Fruit Ninja. This kid, he’s gonna cut an apple with the sword. What could go wrong?! Absolutely nothing. Nothing predictable here at all. The pool! The pool is fucked on. Should a 12 year old have a sword?! Isn’t this basically like a child soldier? Yep nah I’m not gonna get bogged down on the ethics. Breathe in, breathe out, aaand… STRIKE. (Crash) -“Ops.” -“That’s exactly what I thought was gonna happen.” Why didn’t you fucking say that before then Karen?! Oh this guy’s got the right idea using a punching baaaag… nah! That fly kick attempt was worse than the one on Arnold Schwarzenegger a few months ago. I genuinely can’t tell if old mate here knows some form of ancient Cobra style Kung Fu, or he’s just on drugs, listening to Darude Sandstorm at full volume. He’s practicing his glowstick waving for the summer festivals, or he’s ripping someone’s heart out of their chest. I don’t know! Imagine what this guy’s dick and balls look like. Just imagine that for a second. These guys must have family jewels, made from weapons-grade steel, OH! Either that or, it’s just the whole package has retreated into his body. All ninjas can do flippy spinny shit. That’s not a good example. Let’s see if this Sheila can do better. Escape from the car with the back flip Ooooh! Right into the windshield. Ouch! I’ve never seen that move before. The grass is a much safer place, to do a flip, or hit yourself in the head, with the beer bottle. Breathe in, breathe out, Aaaand strike. Okay yep. The outcome of this was as predictable, as the Fruit Ninja kid, slicing his inflatable pool. I reckon this Sheila and fruit ninja kid, could start a pretty good super team. Whatever could go wrong, will definitely go wrong. C’mon mate, you got this one. YEEES! There you go. It’s just wood BUT it counts. Persistence is key. – “We will go down, find them, and continue down, to drink beer. Goodbye!”

100 comments

  1. "If you can't be arsed to climb a mountain then just stay inside and fight inanimate objects" Best advice 👍 The first guy just cracked me up, I couldn't stop giggling 😂😂🤭

  2. Hey, I found this video and I involuntarily started narrating in my terrible Australian accent, perhaps you can do a better job? Anyway even if you don't use this footage it's entertaining nonetheless
    https://youtu.be/vIjTxxD3M4U

  3. Ozzy Man is a beer fan, so he made us listen to the word beer by that mountain ninja at the end of this video clip. I bet you hit the pub after finishing composing this piece!

  4. 1:34 Batman retired and became Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne retired and became Christian Bale. Christian Bale retired and became a failing ninja

  5. hey ozzy man… i'm from Bangladesh 😄 i have watched each and every video of yours… u are awesome bro😍
    You are so funny😂

  6. Love from India. I am one of the big bloody beautiful bastard fan of yours. There is a request; could you please make a ringtone of your voice saying some shit such as "take the call you dodgy dickhead" or something like that . I would be highly obliged.

  7. Ozzy you can make the Best videos and make sure that your laughing your ass off by the time you get to the end great stuff as always love you and your style 😁😅😂🤣👌👍👍

  8. L'MFAO!! That Chick that got Her Heel Stuck in the Ceiling was Fk'n Hilarious Brother!! What a Nice image!!😂😂✌🐴🇺🇸

  9. 2:32 Screen shot that sheila, put a brazzers logo at the bottom and post it on social media. Blue ball the whole nation 😂

  10. THUMBS UP THIS COMMENT if you (like me) want to see more video content per week! Would LOVE to see more new videos each week!!

  11. I did a roundhouse on one of those Arcade punching bags at the Astroworld fest in Houston.
    I hit it and almost got the highscore but I fell on the wet outdoor set up they had and everybody laughed .
    I was nice and dickered so I didn't cared.

  12. Sorry I'm a little late on this comment, but if you want to see another through the windshield ninja move, it was called "Collision Course" with Pat Morita. I know you're busy and all, but it's worth a watch

  13. So is the red head stuck in the ceiling fair game? Just wondering if I happen to pass by for future reference.

  14. 1:02…humans are getting dumber. That's a perfect example. His dumb parents okays the sword and junior's 1st swing…cost a pool! lol!!!!

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