Make Him Worry About Losing You – It’s Critical For His Love


If you want a man to be deeply in love with
you, he must be a little bit worried about losing you. In this video, I’m going to
explain why the fear of losing you is so critical to love and I’m going to tell you the five
steps to make sure he loves, values, and appreciates you more than ever.. Don’t go anywhere because
we are starting right now. hi everyone. I’m dr Antonio Borrello, and
I’m a psychologist and relationship coach. This channel is all about helping you build
great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love. So, if you’re
interested in making your love life the best part of your life, start now by clicking the
subscribe button and the bell notification so you aren’t missing anything. OK.. on
to our topic why a man needs to fear losing you. Some of you will probably object to the following
statement. And that is, If your man never experiences any fear or worry of losing you,
he will never fall deeply in love with you. Let me say it in a different way..
If he never worries that you would leave him or that he could lose you, he will never value,
appreciate and love you the way he should. Not convinced?. .
Well let me give you some examples that I know you can relate to and then I’ll explain
the theory that supports it… I’m going to start with a scenario of two people noticing
their attraction towards one another and beginning to flirt with each other. So, imagine yourself in this situation.. You’ve
just met a man that you’re liking.. you find him handsome, charming, and funny. The
two of you start flirting and getting to know one another and you find yourself more and
more attracted to him. And of course, you start to imagine what it
will be like to go out with him.. and little by little you find yourself thinking about
him more and more until you have this excitement inside….
ya know.. the butterflies. And when you go on your first date, you have an amazing time
together and the feeling just intensifies…. OK.. are you with me? You know the feeling
I’m talking about, right? Well.. when you have that experience with
another person, all of your interactions with him
(and his interactions with you) are primarily motivated by two equally powerful drives. The first and most obvious drive is the attraction
you feel towards him. It’s the excitement you feel, the desire to be near him and spend
time with him. You’re driven by the amazing way you feel when you’re together..
he makes you feel alive, excited, and turned on, right?
That’s your attraction towards him ……… And as you know, attraction is a super powerful
motivator. So, You love the way you feel when you are with him and you want more and more
of that feeling. . I’m sure you can agree that your attraction towards him is a powerful
driver and motivator of your interactions with him.. Now the second driver of your interactions
is the uncertainty you feel regarding his feeling for you. I mean Obviously you know
how you feel, but in the beginning, you’re not always sure that he feels the same about
you, right? So, what do you do in these beginning stages
when you want him, but you are still unsure of how he feels?
Well, you’re probably on your best behavior, you’re trying to express your attraction
towards him, while trying to impress and win his affection and attraction back…, because
again, you want to know that your feelings are being reciprocated, right? Well, what do me do when they are attracted
to a woman and want to date them? Well, he wants you to like them back, so he’s going
to try to woo you… he is going to try to win you over.. So he will take you on “real”,
traditional dates. He opens car doors, pulls up your chair, he is very gentleman like,
right? What else does he do? Well, he keeps in constant
communication with you, he texts you, he calls you, he makes plans with you, he listens to
you, he opens up to you, he goes out of his way to show you how he’s feeling, right?
And when a person is doing all of these things, he is investing in you.. he is investing in
a future with you …… for two reasons.. one, he is attracted to you, and two, he wants
you to want him back. So, he’s investing his time, his energy, and his thoughts, into
you and the relationship. And as I’ve talked about before, the more we invest in something,
the more effort we put into someone or something, the more we appreciate and like them as a
result. So the result of him trying so hard and investing
in you and the relationship, is his growing love and appreciation for you because of those
investments.. Now, with these ideas in mind, what happens
when a man has no fear of a woman ever leaving him? What happens when he knows you’re obsessed
with him and terrified of losing him? Well, then ½ of his motivation,
½ of his drive, and ½ of his attraction is removed and he no longer has to try so
hard.. he no longer has to work on securing your love and attention.
If he has no fear of ever losing you, he knows he doesn’t have to be on top of his game
and you’ll still be there. So, the result, he takes you for granted, he underappreciates
you, and he no longer works as hard on making the relationship great. And that’s when you need to gently remind
him of your value in his life and that your love for him is not unconditional… he needs
to know that your relationship and your loyalty also depends on how he treats you… just
as it did in the beginning. He needs to be a little bit worried about losing you.
So, if you’re in a relationship and feeling taken for granted, or unappreciated, and you
want to remind him of your value and importance in his life, here are the 5 tips that will
make him worry about losing you and turn things around for your relationship. 1. Let Go of Your Anger and Stop Talking About
Feeling Unappreciated Ok. This one is difficult to do, but absolutely
essential. Let me explain. When you feel like he’s taking you for granted or that he doesn’t
appreciate you, it’s natural to feel hurt and even angry about it..
And, it makes sense that you would want to talk about it.. And sometimes, that is enough
to temporarily turn things around.. However, if things don’t change, continuing to bring
up your complaints might actually make things worse.. And despite all of the conversations
, nothing changes.. things just get more difficult between you.. it’s like he sees you as the
one who is always complaining and nagging him.
So you must not bring this topic up again.. at least not yet… I know it’s not easy
to do, but if you continue to bring it up, you could sabotage your chances of turning
things around. . So, despite how you’re feeling, you must not let him know that you
are upset, or sad, or worried. Instead, after you do these steps, he’s going to be the
one missing you and appreciating you and he will bring it up.. So give yourself a break
from worrying about this.. say maybe a month or two.. trust me… if you do these things,
he’s going to notice and he’s going to bring it up. #2 Resurrect Your Social Life Outside of His
Go out with your friends and have fun again, away from your man. Do something for you…
take up a new hobby or do something that you enjoy. This forces him to recognize your independence
and that you’re not just sitting by the phone waiting for his calls.
Remember, one of the most important things that men find attractive in women is independence.
He’s got to know how full and complete your life is. And, if he becomes part of it, it
is because you WANT him to be part of it, not because you NEED him to part of it. So make sure you are keeping up with the life
you had prior to meeting him. BE yourself and make yourself a priority. Make and keep
plans with your girlfriends and keep your schedule busy.
This goes a long way towards helping him to see you as a high value woman with an exciting
life…. And when you do that he is going to want to be a part of that…. And when
he isn’t, he’s going to feel that too. So when he calls last minute to make plans…
Oops.. sorry, I have plans… this will make him prioritize and plan his time with you.
He will also begin to recognize that he does NOT get the privilege of calling you or asking
you to go out when he feels the whim. He has to earn back that “high priority” status.
So Make other plans and he will start to remember how you used to be available for him, when
he prioritized the relationship.. 3.Glamorize Your Looks and Prioritize Your
Fitness When in a relationship, it’s common for
people to get so comfortable that they let their appearance fade. If this resonates with
you, it’s time to start glamorizing the way you look when you’re with him, and when
you’re not with him. So, dress well, make sure your hair and your
skin is glowing.. , if you’ve gained a few pounds and don’t
have the same hour glass figure that you had when you met him, getting back into shape
is something that he will certainly notice and appreciate.
So, join a gym or start following a particular workout program and make it a priority. Look
your best. He’s going to notice when other men are paying more attention to you and that’s
going to remind him that other men find you attractive. Now, if you’re a person who
is always looking your best, consider making a change in the way you look.
Perhaps you can change your hair length or color, change your style of clothing,
Or change your makeup.. just make sure that it’s enough of a change that he will notice
and a change that makes you look sexier and more glamourous.
The psychology behind these changes are two fold. First, he’s going to be wondering
why you’ve made this significant change in the way that you look.. He’s going to
be questioning why it’s so important for you to look better, for you to look different?
And he’s going to question if it is because you want to be attractive to other men. And
again, this is going to provoke just a little bit of fear that someone else could take his
place. The second thing that happens when you change the way you look or the way you
dress.. he’s going to be wondering if you’re also changing your feelings.. 4.. Have the talk when the time is right.
This is super important.. if you have done these first steps correctly, your boyfriend
will definitely recognize a change and will probably become concerned and might even object
to these changes. That’s a good thing. You want him to recognize and remember that he
has an amazing woman. If he doesn’t notice the changes.. that’s when you should be
concerned. So again, You aren’t the one who should bring up this topic..
But When he notices your changes, he’s either going to step up his game and become more
loving and more like he used to be, or he’s going to bring up what he’s noticed and
want to have a conversation about it. And that’s perfect. And when he does, Be clear
and honest about what you want and your expectations for the relationship.. This is when you are
going to give him examples of when you’ve felt taken for granted, this is when you’re
going to explain the differences in the way he has been behaving.. So be clear and tell
him what you need. 5. Be willing to walk away
You MUST be willing to walk away from someone and something if it isn’t working.
He needs to feel that you aren’t willing to settle, that you aren’t going to tolerate
behaviors or actions of his that you don’t agree with..
So, in order for him to really appreciate you, he needs to experience this ‘fear of
loss’ – essentially, the fear of losing you. This fear will be even greater if you
are your BEST self because this type of fear in fact, is rooted in LOVE. . But He will
only experience this if he knows you are willing and able to walk away from something that
isn’t right for YOU. So, keep your head up.. forget about what you fear and remember
what you deserve.. If he is not appreciating you, if he doesn’t value you, if he isn’t
treating you with respect and love, you must be willing to put your self respect above
your feelings and walk away. Remember, New relationships should be exciting,
passionate, and easy. When you really like someone, you want them to know how valuable
and important the relationship is. And, you want to know that your feelings are reciprocated
— so , you treat them with as much affection and consideration as you can. That is exactly
how you should be treated in return. Don’t settle for anything less..
These tips will work for you.. Believe me, they are all based on focusing on you, prioritizing
you, looking amazing, feeling amazing, and reminding him that he is with an amazing woman
and he must work to ensure he keeps you interested in him.
Now, I should also say that if you’re dealing with a man who is a playing mind games or
manipulating you, these tips will probably not work that well.. so, Click here to watch
a video about the signs that he’s playing and using you, or click here to watch the
video youtube thinks you will enjoy.. and please smash that subscribe button to get
more videos that will help you build a great relationship so you can grow happy together..
I’ll see you in the next video.

100 comments

  1. You cannot join a choir if you can only sing to one note ME ME ME ME .IT IS BETTER TO BE SINGLE AND FOCUSED LADIES ON DOING WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND JUST ADOPTIBG A PET A DOG OR CAT CALLED BUDDY, SHADOW EMANIGUS LUCKY OR A CAT ( S) CUDDLES SNUGGLES PRINCESS BELLA SNOW BALL. SWEET PEA ETC JUST CHASE AFTER WHAT' S IMPORTANT TO YOU ONLY AND NOT A BAITER IMBECILE A LYSOL ASSHOLE OR A. A NASTY NARACISSISTIC NE' RDOWELL! NEVER JUST GIVE THE IDIOT YOUR BUTT AND BACK AND THINK OF THEM AS A CIGARETTE BUTT AND NOW IT IS TIME TO BUTT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOR GOOD MOVE ON FORWARDLY ON YOUR OWN AND DOING YOUR OWN THINGS WHICH MAKE YOU HAPPY AND DON' T FRET CRY AND LOOK BACK OR THINK IF THE PAST BUT RELISH IN THE PRESENT AND LET THE HEALING PROCRSS BEGIN. GOOD LUCK AMD REMEMBER BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND IN YOUR STENGHTS. AND THE REST WILL FALL IN PLACE JUST KEEP ON BELIEVING IN YOURSELF WHERE THERE IS HOPE THERE IS ALWAYS BELIEVE FAITH HOPE AND THE WILLINGNESS AND NEED WANT AND DESIRE TO LEARN FROM OUR EXPERIENCES AND TO GROW AS A HEALTHY MARE LIVING RESPECTFUL CARING THOUGHFULCONSIDERATE REASSURING INDIVIDUAL INTO A BETTER VERSION OF OUR INNATE SELVES .XOXO & PEACE FOLKS DANICA💝💝💝💝

  2. My only issue was really a social life outside of his. He’s definitely started acting differently. I’ve also been making life goals and perusing them. They don’t want you to move on without you. Don’t forget that men are genetically programmed to chase, so stop chasing him and play your cards differently.

  3. I don’t hold him responsible for my happiness anymore.

    I do my own thing with my mates, I’m beginning not to care if he’s absent.

    He’s been asking to chat face to face now.

  4. This Video is rite on POINT! Thank you 😊 for sharing this Video! This is exactly what I do, and he misses me so much he burns my phone 📱 up!!!! I don’t answer now he’s having fear that I’m gone! I don’t have time for games!!!

  5. Lol…I walk away a lot. The issue is that once a guy sees my "ta-tas" they only have interest in a physical opportunity or dismiss the idea of a relationship and walk away assuming I'm not a keeper. And I have a lot of value. I would never change the gifts God gave me. Just tired of the conclusions people jump to. How is a woman going to keep an open mind with so much working against you?

  6. Thank you for this advice video yeah I notice that when I show my emotions to men and give them importance plus chase them and cry over them they take me for granted and pull away from me, now I know I have to be a challenge

  7. I like the idea of willing to walk away. becuase you dont want somebody dis-value you.. remmeber ladies always headhigh up. we have our own lives and dont let him ruin your inner peace. be a value women 🙏🙏🙏🙏

  8. What would you as a relationship coach advise he knows I dont believe in divorce it ruins families Christmas wedding birthdays too now who do u spend christmas with if there are more than 2 choices diff enough to spend time w 2 families easier if your just dating if youre a Housewife of 35 years he knows you wouldnt make enough money and now youre older also even more attached having children together. You shouldnt have to play games. A good man should simply just love his wife. Mine started he hanging out w a dude all the tine refusing to spend any time together on the weekend. Then sleeps all the time when he gets home. Most boring rude husband. Thoughless of my feelings disrespectful. Promises to do something always says hes tierd. We did stuff every weekend for 35 years then hed be nasty pick a fight if we did then just went to games w this guy cards his lake house him w this and that helps at home w nothing. Asked him to hang a picture carry a rock to the the back porch pick up his clothes a year later just promises he will but gives excuses hes tired! Yet will find the energy to help friends all day.

  9. WHAT IF ITS YOUR HUSBAND AND HED RATHER HANG OUT W HIS BUDDIES I HAVE NO CAR NO MONEY TO JOIN A GYM GO ANYWHERE DO ANYTHINGHe doesnt even notice my nail color outfit

  10. No Antonio you're wrong about this I've done all of these things. When I started to improve my appearance my boyfriend accused me of having an affair. Most of the changes he never even noticed. When I would spend time with friends or family he got so mad that he threatened me with a knife and I had go to a domestic violence shelter to stay safe. I'm his neighbor so when I went home to get some stuff he had some of the other neighbor's threaten to beat me up because I'm the one who was hurting him by cheating on him. Something I never ever did. Don't take Antonio's advice you might wind up in the Hospital.

  11. You had me..until you mentioned the potential extra pounds and lackluster physical appearance. Really? I do not want a man in my life who is paying attention to me because other men are paying attention. Creepy and very disturbing

  12. NO…Men are the prize to be won….the providers of all of the the resources women covet…the creators of MONEY and WEALTH and the very societies and social programs who's benefits they enjoy. We are the ones who hump washers and dryers up basement stairs because they can't…we are the ones who jack cars up and fix flat tires in a 30 below zero blizzard at 3 in the morning because they can't. We are the ones who climb up poles during lightning storms to bring the power back when the lights go out…or crawl down into the sewers when they back up….all of these things invented by men, by the way …not women. I've read the comments here. Modern females are delusional the way they overvalue themselves. All my life I've heard every female PARROT the sentiment that "anything a man can do a woman can do better"…OK…SO GO DO IT BETTER…I've never tried to stop any of you. I'm 58 years old and still waiting for one woman to do it better than men have done…to build a better Hoover dam or golden gate bridge or Hubble space telescope or IBM or Macintosh or FORD or BOING JET…still waiting…aint' seeing it yet.

  13. What happens when he's in another country. We started out talking all of the time. And each night. I recently told him. I had thought to walk away due to I was getting to close to soon. And when I see his page. A female is making comments and he responds back. But tells me. He doesn't talk to anyone but me. Hummmm . I have alot to keep me busy. He told me he's jealous doesn't want anyone to take me or be close to me. Well all I want is a man that can be mine. And not all over the Global…

  14. Your 5 tips is true. So how about you Dr. Antonio are you one of those men too? Hope you don't mind my question. Just being curious about your own opinion as a man. Thanks and God bless.

  15. Hi Antonio, I’m dating a man who hasn’t been calling me as before. He is working harder in summertimes, I know that but I was worried so I nagged a lot, and like you said it turned to worse. After I watched your video, I stopped nagging. I’m just waiting, I dont know what I’m waiting… still he is continuing calling less often. I cant decide if i should leave him or not. I’m afraid of doing a mistake that I’ll be regret afterwards. How will I decide? 😔

  16. Nowadays some relationship are like playing games….. even in a smallest problem it will separates each other…… hard to find same as your desires…. thank you Dr. Antonio for your nice advice God bless

  17. Been married 20 yrs. He just doesn’t care if I’m unhappy as long as I’m not acting angry at him. He used to treat me well, now he won’t even go outside to smoke. All I want to do is go on a hike, be in the woods. He lets me go alone. Even bought me a stun gun. 🙁 I do everything for him but I am in dispair. My life has no future except for cooking cleaning yard work. The occasional movie. He does none of that. I am becoming disinterested and disillusioned.

  18. Change to look sexy and attractive? Make him wonder if you want to attract other men? I don't think so. Those are mind games. If you have to go through all that effort you are not with the right person.

  19. Even all the loyalty and love still won't make him stay if he wants to go. Went to Louisiana 4week and he couldn't stop text n as in WHN I was coming bk home, but WHN I get back thn all the bullshit started right back. Men always and only care and love wht women do 4them.

  20. It's jacked up that a girl has to pretend to have an exciting life, when maybe she is comfortable in a quiet cozy life. Some people stay in the streets nonstop because they are running from their thoughts. A guy shouldn't think a girl is "waiting for him" just because she genuinely enjoys alone time at home reading or watching tv or etc

  21. He doesn't fear losing me I have always good to him it will probably be a blessing in disguise for him talk is cheap really actions are priceless saying goes u dont know how good you have it until it's gone 😜💐

  22. Ah but of course… another vid to encourage female manipulation, but aren't they already narcissistic enough? Oh well, anything for likes I guess.

  23. So if I understand women must to play a mind game for to keep a man interested 🤔 .no thanks I am real I act real emotionally, physically intellectually so if he can't to appreciate the way I am he pass the door simple than that.

  24. Hi dr Borello..thanks for the video, it really open my eyes…
    I'm in a long distance relationship for 2 months now, i really like the guy and i feel attracted to him, but he only lives in his imagination with me, no real talks..what shall i do..

  25. Can i do this even we’re living together now?
    Im with him over a year and we don’t have passionate moments. Zero sex life? Is it normal? I love him that’s why im dealing with it. Need your advice. Thanks

  26. My boyfriend is going to engaged soon… I just want him to come back and make him realize that it was his wrong decision..!! help me out from this situation..!!

  27. Ya'll relationships are hard WORK, and if anyone tells ya otherwisee they are being hella dishonest!!
    And any man who purposely pretends, as well as having no intention of being with or loving the woman he is seeing and he preys on her because he knows that she has started falling in love with him, jus to use her, manipulate, etc etc …. in my opinion, the men who play with folks hearts like this are the bottom of the barrel!! That shit is someone who is jus COLD HEARTED AND HAS NO SOUL!

  28. i am attracted to a person whom i have never met…not even a picture of himself…but when we talk over chat…my feelings to him goes deeper

  29. how CAN'T huddle my relationship my bf get married to thier place .. to follows the parents and follow thier culture and thier rules why event he love me so much but he can't fight for me to hes parent's its better that i give up

  30. He will recognize the changes. I am willing to walk away. I believe that it’s best for me. He is away on business. I don’t want to wait around for him to return. I need to move on right now. He’s done some unacceptable things. I don’t want to put myself back in the position of not getting what I need and want.

  31. I went through this the man kept saying we were friends with benefits and that weren't together. After it was going on over a couple yrs I ended up I left and had met someone else the guy took off long story things changed after that he became afraid of losing me things changed a lot since for the better and isn't repeating the past behavior. My man doesn't Express himself much. Just be yourself with your partner and tell them u love them and you want them. In my case we got back together he swept me off my feet when I was broken. Sometimes they have to realize what they almost lost be honest and u want a relationship and not the words of laid or friends with benefits. Sometimes you might get back together I ended up walking away it hurt too much the words. But now it It's much more different and better. I'm sorry I hurt him I was hurt 2 so couldn't take it anymore

  32. Antonio I've got a question can you explain the meaning of flirting to me come pairs to speaking one's true feeling by speaking honestly now can you tell me when I speak to you am I flirting I want you to be honest with me okay cause I need to know if I'm flirting or just being straight forward and speaking my mind hahaha

  33. Tell a guy there's loads of other guys out there and she will leave him. 😂. What a way to make your guy fall out of love with you

  34. What should i do?i i keep sending message nd calling him bu he only read my messages and he didn't pick up my call. But he view my stories on facebook.. What he mean like this.. Is this possible that he return back on me.. Please help me what i do.. Thank u

  35. My boyfriend feels I cheated on him,but I didn't because I know alot of guys but then it turns out he cheated on me. And he broke up with me at first I didn't want but later I accepted the break up after that he doesn't want.. I still love him so much and I feel he loves me too. What should I do?

  36. I did all of what your saying and it's clear he did not appreciate me and over time it's gotten worse from him long story but yes I did all what you suggested in video . I value my self worth and left him by divorcing him for many reasons . I deserve better and I'm going to get it .

  37. You know what if he wants you he would of never left a rider die is there through the good times
    And the bad. So if your rider die stays that's your life partner

  38. So in essence ladies- fix your look because no man gonna love you if your look aint right…. hahahaaaa. Now go get that hour glass figure you had waayyyyy back. Is this for real?
    * checks divorce statistics for 2019… after all the self help videos from professionals. *smurks 😉

  39. I am like this and men think that i am too strong and Independent. They prefer women WHO can't live without them and they feel their heros.

  40. So run yourself crazy trying to keep him happy then question if he’s happy or not huh ? Bro I’m just gay . Period I’m into myself I want to date myself I like woman.

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