How I Deal With Doubt | JENNGLEBELLS #1


(upbeat holiday music) (Jenn exhales) ♪ Girl come on, ♪ ♪ Tell me what is wrong ♪ ♪ I’m on fire ♪ ♪ Feel it in my bones ♪ ♪ Did I say ♪ ♪ What need not be said ♪ ♪ Show the way ♪ ♪ Let me get ahead ♪ ♪ Why do I make you ♪ ♪ Hurt so much my love ♪ ♪ Just can’t figure out ♪ ♪ Why you’re still with me ♪ ♪ Does it get easier ♪ ♪ Does it get easier my love ♪ – Every time I drive by this
house with the big flowers, I’m always like, “Dude, that would be “just such a cute place
to take a picture.” I am power walking. Got two minutes to find a nice bed. I’m very particular on the bed that I want in my class, ’cause I
always like to do one by the mirror so that I can check my form. (mellow music) ♪ Girl come on ♪ ♪ Cutting through my skin ♪ ♪ Words got heard ♪ ♪ Places I have been ♪ ♪ I’m so lost ♪ ♪ Yet I know what this is ♪ ♪ It’s my mind ♪ ♪ Replaying all my sins ♪ I literally have 15 minutes to get ready. I just took a shower. I think I have no choice but to do just a very, very minimal
makeup look today. Obviously, some sunscreen. You have to protect your face, guys. I’m low-key stressed. I should’ve taken an
earlier workout class, but I just love my instructor, Anna Lisa. She has the best playlist, and the workouts are super challenging. Playlist is a really big thing for me. And Anna Lisa, her playlist
is freaking fire. She does a lot of French electronic music, which I love. She’ll play Yelle. She will play Justice sometimes. Then there’s also a mix of just top 40. One of the instructors I went to, they were playing Fleetwood Mac. And I’m just like, I can’t
workout to Fleetwood Mac. That’s the type of music you play on a stroll or a leisurely drive. I’m freaking working out, man. There’s gotta be a higher BPM, please. But yeah, that’s the reason why I took a 9 a.m. class instead
of the 8 a.m. class. And now I’m freaking punching my face with this beauty blender.
(boxer punching) She’s slowly coming together. Look, I feel like I should
wear a jacket, but it’s hot. Here she goes. I’m off. I literally got ready in 15 minutes. ♪ Ah yeah ♪ ♪ Move ahead ♪ ♪ Ah yeah ♪ ♪ Move it ♪ ♪ Ah yeah ♪ ♪ Move ahead ♪ ♪ Ah yeah ♪ ♪ Move ahead ♪ ♪ Agnostic ♪ ♪ Stuck in the middle ♪ – And we’re already getting
the content going for that. ♪ Fight it ♪ ♪ Don’t know just where I’ma go ♪ – I’m buying a new iPhone right now. I’m gonna buy the 11 Pro Max and then give my dad my iPhone 11, this is the system that
we’ve been doing for years. Look how wide it is already. – Oh, wow. Oh, look how smooth we look there. – (gasps) Oh my God, it’s so pretty. Wow. – It’s the new 18-watt fast charger. – Wow. Oh my God, it’s raining. Or it’s drizzling. – Hi.
– Hi Sharon. ♪ I’m stuck in the middle ♪ – [Jenn] Bath time, oh. – [Ben] She’s ready. – [Jenn] She likes her baths. (water running) – Cheeki has allergies She get all the dust and that on her fur and then she gets itchy where she gets her
infections and rashy skin so, we have an anti itch shampoo prescribed just for Chippo – Just for Chippo – So she doesn’t itch as much. (upbeat music) ♪ I thought you’ll not be blue today ♪ – Hyper time! Oh, what you got, what you got! Go get it! ♪ Oh you could make your mind up, up ♪ – Oh, you Cheeki girl. You strongly got it, now go! – Guys it’s raining. Wow. I feel motivated. I saw Sharon yesterday night And every time we see each other it’s like two Virgos colliding. We’re talking about goals. We’re talking about strategy. We’re talking about
things we can improve on. We’re talking about things
that we are grateful for. It just lit a fire up my butt last night. And I got home and I
just worked till 2 a.m. I was researching camera equipment. I was researching videos
that I would like to do. And I have also been kind of examining my behavior this past year. And last night, I was going through waves to just doubt and just feeling
insecure and comparing. And when I feel like that I always like to start reading
a self development book. I started to read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and it’s honestly been a minute
since I’ve read that book. I think it’s been 2 years. Which is far too long. The first chapter just, (imitating explosion) open up my brain again. Because I completely forgot about this. He kind of compared success
to an analogy of a farm Let’s say you’re a farmer You have one year to make
the best harvest as you can. Reaping what you sow. If you just keep reaping out of the land that you have not tilled, you have not put nutrients in and you have not fed it love. I’m not a farmer. But basically, if your just f*cking around all summer. And your not treating your land right. Your not gonna get the best crops in the fall. I haven’t been tilling my land. I have to be getting inspiration. I have to be watching films. Even talking to people
in their creative space. So, right now I am in tilling mode. So I am just trying to get as much inspiration as possible. I’m going to commit to my tasks and start believing in myself. It is 5:54. Which means I have 30 minutes to do my makeup and my hair. I’m going to a birthday party. It is my friend Sarah’s early birthday celebration today. This is the top I’m gonna wear tonight. For foundation I’ve been going
back to this one by Dior. Since, it’s been extremely dry out here. I just wanted just more
of a hydrating foundation. I’ve been loving to use Il Makiage’s new concealer this their F*ck I’m Flawless Concealer. I’m in the shade 3.5. I love this concealer because it doesn’t crease. And the under eye is such a delicate area. Eyebrow combination Maybelline brow ultra slim Gonna go in with the Urban Decay Naked Honey Palette. And this one has a bunch
of nice goldy shades. I think I’ll look nice, you know. This is a indigo. I’ve been calling it navy. But it’s freaking indigo, dude. Okay, well indigo and gold look really beautiful together, so. (upbeat piano music)
Going with golden or should I go amber? I don’t know how I feel
about this top though. I’m just not feeling it, at this moment. Because we’re gonna be eating and maybe I have to change the bottom I don’t know. I feel a lot more comfortable in this. Because it’s cold outside. I’m gonna wear this jacket over. This is just my trusty moto. I guess I’m ready to go now. That only took 30 minutes, Ha! (Upbeat music) Goodnight. (typing) I’m going to attempt to do some unboxings. Because, I have a ton of mail. And I want to go through them so I might as well just
share with the world. I also got this lovely tripod, for my Iphone on Amazon. And it’s been a game changer and I think that’s what’s inspiring me to do these stories, so. Let’s try this out. So, this is my first box. Oh, oops. I am very picky about
the floss that I use. Oh my God. – [Jenn on video] String, look at it, it’s thick it’s substantial – This is a silicone egg poacher. I’m gonna do a video that will include this soon. So, I will let you guys
know how I feel about it. – [Jenn On Video] This
is a silicone egg poacher – Wow All right, so this is the first clip of me testing out the new camera this is the M50. I have the mic on now and hopefully it just makes it sound sound even crazier. – We are pre-gaming for Post Malone– – We’re doing it right this time! Oh my God, Life is beautiful. Was fun but it was a complete fail. – Now Post Malone is our singular goal. – Singular goal – You know so.
– Thank you for having us tonight. – Yeah, so we’re fresh and ready. So, I’m excited. – Just a couple more shots of tequila and I’ll be good to go. – I’ve prepared for this
moment since September. (upbeat music) – Hey guys we’re making a wardrobe because when the flood happened it damaged our last ones. So we just had to get rid of them, get some more. build them again, they’re only a couple months old. But yeah we’re getting there. – It requires two people so I am a second person. So I’m gonna help him out. (indie techno music) ♪ Blue skies ♪ ♪ Oh, it dies again ♪ ♪ To lies ♪ ♪ Will wash into pretend ♪ ♪ Our time will be forgotten ♪ ♪ I love it ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I don’t think you do ♪ ♪ Don’t shove it ♪ ♪ American dream come true ♪ ♪ And I’ll have the dreams ♪ – I like to organize these. ♪ Living for you ♪ ♪ Found you in my love ♪ ♪ And it was all right ♪ – I’m gonna do a closet clean out because I haven’t worn these coats in a very very long time. But I’m not gonna give this coat away! We went on a date in this coat! Babe, do you remember? – [Ben] We did, in England. ♪ Let you slip away ♪ ♪ Found my love again ♪ ♪ You say you don’t make mistakes ♪ – The filming room is now finished. We’ve got the lights set up. We’ve got the background. The cabinets are on! Yay! Do not mind the outside. We have to figure out what we’re gonna do with all these boxes. But that is a problem for another time. This is what really matters. Thanks Babe. – Course Babe, you helped. (melodic music) – Hi guys, it is Saturday. Ben and I are about to head
to Ashley’s Friendsgiving. – Ashley’s, very excited,
we have Chippo as well. She’s gonna see her sister Mochie. – This is a really good food baby outfit. Because this dress is very flowy. Lots of room for–
– Very true. – the stomach to expand. And it’s dark so it’s very flattering. I just got this hat from Style Nanda and I’m still unsure about it. ‘Cause it’s, it’s a beret but it’s quilted but it also kinda looks like the hats that Samuel L. Jackson wears. So–
– I like it. – You like it? – [Ben] it’s kind of oversized,
it’s fashion, you know. (upbeat indie music) – For dessert this is
what Stephanie brought. Someone just–
– Oh, someone? Someone did that Jenn. – [Jenn] Yeah, someone! – Oh yeah, we go this way are we? – I didn’t know we were
gonna have a ceremony for pies, silly. – [Vanan] But, Who had this one. – I wonder who? – I wonder who took this bite? – This is a game for Nancy Drew. – Look at the crummies.
(laughing) – She gets a bit unsure. She gets a bit insecure. She has social insecurity issues. [Jenn] Yeah, she has social anxiety. So we’ve been back at the house for, I think a month now and when we moved back I got into this crazy, manic stage of just everything needs to be organized! This is our second chance to move back in! So, I went to the container store and I got all these boxes for my vanity. And I’m very proud of the way it looks. I got all these little containers to be more organized. In here I’ve got all my foundations. Over here we’ve got, more foundations some glosses concealer. Freakin pumped guys. It makes me actually excited to get ready and it’s easier to experiment
with different looks. Today I’m finishing filming one of my videos for the week. It’s a video where I test out
if I still like my favorites. ‘Cause I’ve been doing
favorites since 2012. It is 2019. But it’s been seven years of favorites. So, I went and revisited some of them and so I’m just finishing
off some of the clips, because for one of the product shots the audio is just, just not good. So I’m gonna just refilm that. Are there any updates? Oh, something pretty random happened. We got into a hit-and-run the other day. Oh. Oh. Someone had smashed into
the front of our car while it was parked. And I mean, luckily they left a note which is nice. But for the longest time they wouldn’t tell me their full name. And they wouldn’t give
us their insurance info. So we were like, “Yo if you’re not gonna “tell us your name we’re
gonna file a police report.” Because it’s like, what did you expect? So once we told him we were gonna do that he finally gave us his insurance info. But our rental car finally came. And I am driving a Dodge Charger. And it’s my first time every
driving a car that wide and at first I was kind of scared cause I was like, “Oh my gosh “I’ve never driven car this big”. But it’s actually really nice. It’s super comfortable. I can go over bumps and
then not feel anything. I feel very supported
in this Dodge Charger. I’m just charging through the streets. So yeah, if you have a Dodge Charger. I like your car, it’s very nice. But unfortunately, We
won’t get our car back until weeks. I don’t understand how, why
car stuff takes so long, why would it take three
weeks to fix a bumper? But I guess you have to wait
for the parts and stuff. I’m just impatient. I like it. I always come back to this shade. This is L’oreal’s I Achieve in 420. I just slapped something on. I just don’t feel like
doing full glam today. Even though I just went
on about experimenting with different makeup looks. Today is not one of those days. it’s been two days since
I haven’t washed my hair. The curls have stayed, thank God. But just the top is a little bit flat and oily. And I’m just gonna blast some dry shampoo this is Ouai, super dry shampoo. It smells freakin bomb. And it just gives a bunch of lift to my roots. All right we’re good to go. Let’s start filming. I guess we’re already filming though, so. I just had a thought. it’s so weird ’cause when I’m vlogging I’m very chill. I don’t care if I don’t
have any makeup on or when I’m filming a sit down video I tend to just get more
in my head in general. Maybe because there are talking points of things I wanna say but when I’m vlogging I’m just like, anything can come out and anything is fair game. it’s just weird because
I’m preparing to film even though I’m already filming. It’s interesting. I wonder if anyone else is like this? (shuffling) And see if I like these favorites today. So let’s get started! Ah, that’s the one okay I feel good about that one. Ben and I have been wanting a dining table that wasn’t just a circle that fit only four people. We wanted something larger something that can fit and house a group. And they just gave me a text saying that they are gonna
deliver the dining table and all the chairs in 10 minutes. So, I don’t really know
what to do with myself. I mean I feel like I should maybe create some room? Should I create some room? I don’t know? Oh my gosh, it’s here. Oh my gosh, I see. Oh my gosh, I see-I see- I see the truck. I see the truck outside my house. Cheeki, we’re gonna get
a new living room table. So we are replacing that. This table was a lot more functional. When I was living in downtown LA but not anymore we want something larger. I can’t believe it! Oh my God! I love it! (upbeat techno music) No. I like it. Furniture is always
really tricky, because, obviously it’s a huge purchase, it’s a commitment. But you don’t know how you’re really gonna feel about it until it’s actually in your home. I think I’ll have a
better idea if I like it when this dining table is gone. And you know, and then those
chairs are in the background. So that’s what it looks like, right now. And it’s just hard to gauge if I like it because there are just
so many things in here. Do you like it? She’s unsure. Try’na get different angles of it. I think I just need a second opinion. It doesn’t feel as open. Why am I like this? Do you like it? What do you guys think? And please be gentle, because I don’t think I would return this. (feet stomping) All you had to do was close your eyes. – Oh, I love it! – [Jenn] Really? – Yeah, I love it. ‘Cause the only thing is, because it’s lined up with this it kind of makes it seem more matching and it might so, if it was over there
turned like that more. – Yeah. The chairs feel good though, huh? – The chairs feel great,
it’s a good size as well. – So the other dining table is gone. And we spruced up the couch. And now, I think it looks really good! It really matches this
color story, you know. It really matches our media console. I think it looks nice! I like it. This is honestly like our meeting ground. So, I’m getting ready
for date night with Ben. And I’m gonna try these magnetic lashes. So here is the magnetic eyeliner. And I’m gonna apply that. it’s kinda hard to draw
a really precise line. Maybe because I already have mascara on? it’s a little difficult. So on the directions it
says that eyeliner should be completely dry before you
attempt to put on the lash. But yeah, I am getting ready
for date night with Ben. We try our best to do this
at least once a month. And you know what? You think that living together we would be spending a
lot of time together. But we’ve realized that quality time is time that we actually
set aside for each other. And the crazy thing
about me and Ben is that, if we don’t set aside this time together. We can go weeks without
having date nights. Sure we’ll have, I don’t know hanging out with friends and group activities. But that’s not the same as a one on one. This is the lash I’m using. Let’s see. Oh my God. Weird Oh my God, it’s on. Every time I blink, I feel like this one’s about to pop off. Because I didn’t put enough eyeliner. Let me just paint a little
bit more on the corner. I did a thicker line this time. So tonight, Ben and I
are gonna go to Atrium which is a restaurant
that I’ve never been to. it’s in Los Feliz and
our dinner reservation is quite soon so I should
probably hurry the F up. Okay I’m gonna put on my outfit
as I wait for this to dry. This outfit is so half-assed. I just can’t be bothered to get ready. Okay so this is my outfit. Just wearing a sweater from J.ing. Since I feel a little bloated. I’m wearing my Just Black denim jeans. There called Just Black Denim but it’s weird because
they have a bunch of jeans that aren’t black either. So, I don’t know. But either way they
are super good quality. They’re one of those jeans that
just like (slurping) you in. There like Spanks but they’re denim. And they’re really comfortable and they’ve got a lot of stretch to it. I am certain that the eyeliner is dry now. So let’s pop these guys on. That’s wild! Okay, it definitely
feels a lot more secure now that I’ve added more
of that magnetic eyeliner. Wow! That’s nuts. Okay, I definitely feel more glam now. All right, let’s go eat. I’m gonna chug this before I go. Ah. Okay, I’m ready! Chip-O, let’s get your din-din. All right you be a good girl. Okay. Okay, and I’m gonna leave this for her. To enjoy while we’re gone. All right and we’re off. Oh wait, my phone. Okay. I was actually raving about this car. While I was getting ready What are your thoughts? – I quite like it. Yeah, I mean, I didn’t
think you would like it. ‘Cause it is bigger. It doesn’t fit in our garage. – No
– Which is a shame. but I feel safe in it, don’t you? – I feel very safe. – Yeah, she likes it. ♪ How ’bout now ♪ ♪ Who am I complete ♪ ♪ Listen to what was fun with me ♪ ♪ So, say it to me ♪ ♪ So first love would hide ♪ ♪ Cement a broken heart ♪ ♪ Oh, it’s so hard ♪ ♪ I just wanna hide ♪ ♪ Meant it for your side ♪

100 comments

  1. Babe. You killed me with the edits!!! Live the table, just gotta rearrange. Stay fabulous you inspiring human!!!!!!

  2. Very happy to see you keeping a few of your old (can't find another word for it) clothes, I remember seeing you wear the same pjs.

  3. Love this!! lol the table looks great, but you should go with your gut. Btw your skin is looking bomb as always. Wondering what sunscreen you were using in this video?

  4. What lashes are you wearing at 12:41? They are so beautiful! Also, for some reason, I just find it very precious seeing you and Ben working together. I think it's really those little moments that can really deepen the bond of a relationship. I love doing chores with my partner because I feel like we are being productive together and we get to talk and whatnot. I love your vlogs because you are always talking about working on improving yourself and I think that's so important. I've learned so much thanks to you :')

  5. i'm not 100% why but I don't like the new table T.T I think maybe its the color of the chairs against the color of the table top? like the set feels like it doesn't match itself? idkkk maybe if i stare at it enough i'll like it LOL

  6. We had to read 7 Habits of Highly Effective people in high school, and boy do I wish I actually read it because I ended up not graduating High School with a 0.7 GPA and struggling for 8 years. I just read it not too long ago, and it motivated me to study to get my GED. I only need the math portion to get it! I'm 26 now, but better late than never.

  7. I love the dining room chairs!!!! I think the set of the dining table and chairs is quite white. Your kitchen and living room has a lot of gray tones and not so much brown wood tones. I think adding a hint of white into your living room will feel like it’s more open and extended into the kitchen!

  8. I'm not loving the dining table. It's such a big piece. And then almost completely white whereas your barstools are dark. I feel like it's not cohesive with the feel of the room. Maybe if you had a seperate dining room it would be different.

  9. i can't believe someone hit your car while it was parked…like how?! this is why we need to park far away from other cars…where it's safe

  10. weeeee i'd love to see a closet cleanout video 😍😍😍 these unhaul/cleanout videos are personal faves it feels so nice to see people declutter it also cleanses my soul lol 😌 plus it doesn't have to be planned to much it's fun to see the thought process hehe

  11. NEEDED THIS SO MUCH~ I might get a scholarship to visit LA for an API conference, would love love to have lunch <3

  12. the doubting montage was me 5 seconds ago relatable content lol also its crazy that i started watching you in hs and I just graduated college ❤️ truly love u

  13. Love hearing all your thoughts about life and relationships. Also your voice is so nice and unique, I can identify your voice whenever I go lol

  14. Hey Jenn, I highly recommend the podcast with Joe Dispenza on the Model Health Show. Dr. Dispenza is popping up a lot but that podcast is one of the best I've heard with him because he articulates his message very well; I think this will help you with your tilling of your land. xoxo

  15. Today was a tough day for me. My emotions were very complicated and I didnt know how to solve. So I am back to your video to get positive energy and yes I feel better.

  16. jenn doubting her table is the most wholesome thing i've ever seen like it is so real and genuine to ask "why am i like this" and worry but shes so self assuring

  17. Actually i have to do my homeworks,prepare for exams, and read books but i will watch this video first. So excited to watch it. Love u jenn.

  18. Jenn! What is the very last song in this? My roommate and I are dying to know and I tried all the songs in the description but didn’t seem to find it. 🤔 Thanks!

  19. For furniture, when you begin to use it that is when you begin to form a bond with it and can truly test if it is exactly what you hoped it would be. It is strong, easy to clean…etc. I like the marble design and the chairs seem very comfy, some lighter coloured throw could be introduced to snuggle in on the sofa?!

  20. The beret looks bomb on you! Also laughed at the furniture bit, I do the exact same thing. xD Table matches the kitchen bench and sections of the lounge area. Give it some time and you’ll love it. 😃

  21. This Jennglebells was so eventful! Can’t wait for more. Also would love a makeup and closet tour even though show and tell vlogs aren’t very common your channel. Been watching since 2014!

  22. Love your positive videos, thank you for all you do. You were talking about tilling the land…how funny in Christian faith we call it "sowing the seeds" have faith and patience that if you are doing the right things your results will come!

  23. I honestly really enjoy watching all of Jenn's vlogs. It somehow makes me feel motivated to go on with life but also relaxed at the same time haha. Jenn you do a great job at making all your vlogs have variety and entertainment! You're honestly one of my ult fave people to watch content wise!!!

  24. literally the part where you’re talking about your rental car, i love the way how you sound excited and bubbly💗 watching your videos always makes me happy🥰🥰

  25. The table is nice! But the chairs seems alittle out of place because idk with the bars stools it seems alittle mismatch.

  26. Yeah I totally understood you when you were doubting de dining table. In the shots the table looks relatively small in comparison to the sizes and number of chairs and also the colour seems a bit off in the rest of your interior… but I think that's workable! Loved the vlog and the red sweater looked amazing on you 😍😍

  27. Jenn having an existential crisis about her new dining table is exactly the kind of content I need in my life 😂😂

  28. As you really enjoy personality frameworks and improving yourself and your habits you should really get into Gretchen Rubin! You can start either with her podcast or her books 🙂

  29. you make the best vlogs in the WORLD literally never boring, editing on point, i just cant say enough good things haha

  30. I think the circular table was a lot better because ur island is so structured and rectangular much like the new dining table so it just feels really blocky and looks too much

  31. Love the originality of this vlog👍 your back n forth shot of u staring at the dining table from the stairs is a classic👌 It does what u wanted, filling more people on the dining & did blend in with yr kitchen top & wooden feel warm up the open space room👍🥰

  32. I think you should rearrange your living room and put The couch on The wall where The TV is and put The TV across it where The stairs is to have it open up to The dining table (:

  33. I've been watching Jenn's vids since high school- I'm near graduation of uni right now, and watching this series makes me realize I don't know her well yet- and that there is so much more to learn about her and her life :0 something tells me she's more powerful, bolder and stronger.
    P.S. The new table looking gooooood💙

  34. I love the table and chair color scheme! I think the bar stools need to not be black anymore – maybe brown wood or silver accents??

  35. the dining table situation was so funny to watch because this is literally me with every decision i have to make in life lmao

  36. This is one of the most interesting vlog I watched from you ever… watching you film yourself while vlogging..plus that actual self realization..😊 love it!

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