Bank Breakers – SNL


>>>IT’S “BANK BREAKERS” WITH
YOUR HOST, BARRY FIELDER. [ APPLAUSE ]
>>WELCOME TO BANK BREAKERS WHERE GREED ISN’T GOOD IT’S
GREAT. LET’S SAY HELLO TO OUR
CONTESTANTS, PAUL AND GRETCHEN. [ APPLAUSE ]
THE GAME IS SIMPLE, STEAL EACH OTHER’S MONEY TO WIN BIG.
LET’S START IT OFF AS WE ALWAYS DO WITH A QUICK CASH GRABBER
QUESTION. THIS WEST COAST CITY IS KNOWN AS
THE CITY BY THE BAY. PAUL?
>>SAN FRANCISCO, BABY!>>CORRECT.
STEAL ONE OF GRETCHEN’S MONEY BAGS.
>>FEELS GOOD TO TAKE YOUR MONEY.
YOU ARE GOING DOWN, LADY. YEAH!
WOO.>>ALL RIGHT.
A SELF HIGH FIVE FROM PAUL, WHO IS ONE STEP
CLOSER TO OUR GRAND PRIZE OF $50,000.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH ALL THAT MOOLA, PAUL?
>>OH, MAN, I NEED A WARDROBE REFRESH.
I’LL BUYING A BUNCH OF COPY JACKETS AND JEANS.
JACKET AND JEANS. JACKETS AND JEANS.
>>JACKETS AND JEANS, NICE. HOW WOULD YOU SPEND THAT CASH,
GRETCHEN?>>ON A MEDICAL PROCEDURE FOR MY
10 YEAR OLD DAUGTHER WILLOW TO RESTORE HER HEARING.
SHE HAS 90% HEARING LOSS IN BOTH EARS.
SORRY. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>WOW. THAT’S A VERY WORTHY CAUSE.
GOOD LUCK, GRETCHEN.>>I — I — BARRY, I SHOULD
MENTION THAT I WILL BE DONATING SOME OF MY JACKETS AND JEANS TO
THE CHARITY, CARS FOR KIDS.>>PRETTY SURE THEY WANT CARS,
BUT YOU DO YOU, MAN. ALL RIGHT, PAUL, YOU ARE UP
FIRST. PICK A CATEGORY.
>>LET’S GO WITH WHIZ KID.>>ALL RIGHT.
THIS CATEGORY IS ABOUT THAT FAMOUS BOY WIZARD, HARRY POTTER.
PAUL, YOU CAN PLAY OR PASS TO GRETCHEN.
>>WELL, I FEEL A LITTLE BAD ABOUT THE WAY I CELEBRATED WHEN
I TOOK YOUR BAG OF MONEY, SO I’LL PASS TO GRETCHEN, GIVE HER
A SHOT.>>ALL RIGHT.
GRETCHEN. HOW DO YOU FEEL?
ARE YOU A POTTER HEAD?>>NO, NO, WHEN HARRY POTTER GOT
BIG I WAS SERVING FOUR TOURS OF DUTY IN IRAQ AND I JUST KIND OF
MISSED IT.>>SHE’S A VETERAN?
>>SHE IS. AND GRETCHEN, THANK YOU FOR YOUR
SERVICE. SO IT’S THE MILITARY VETERAN
VERSUS THE — I’M SORRY. WHAT DO YOU DO, PAUL?
>>I DO ONLINE ADVERTISING FOR MARLBORO CIGARETTES.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>VERSUS PAUL.
>>FIRST QUESTION. GRETCHEN, NAME THE AUTHOR OF THE
HARRY POTTER SERIES.>>OH, BOY.
>>COME ON, YOU KNOW THIS.>>J., OH, I HEARD HIS NAME
BEFORE.>>HER NAME.
>>JAKE — JAKE ROWLING.>>OH, NO.
IT’S J.K. ROWLING. BIG TOBACCO GETS THE STEAL.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>PLEASE DON’T CALL ME THAT.
I’M SO SORRY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>ALL RIGHT.
BEFORE WE CONTINUE, GRETCHEN, I UNDERSTAND YOUR FAMILY IS HERE
TODAY.>>YES, TWO OF THEM ARE, YES, MY
BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, WILLOW AND MY HANDSOME HUSBAND, JOSH.
>>WE’RE PROUD OF YOU MOMMY. EVEN IF YOU DON’T WIN WE WILL
FIND A WAY TO PAY FOR WILLOW’S SURGERY AND WE ARE GOING TO
FINDS A WAY TO REPLACE EVERYTHING THOSE BURGLARS STOLE
FROM US.>>THEIR HOUSE GOT ROBBED?
>>SURE DID. AND WHO IS CHEERING YOU ON
TODAY, PAUL?>>MY ROOMMATE, PAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>I’M SORRY ABOUT THIS SHIRT.
I DIDN’T KNOW WE WOULD BE NEXT TO A LITTLE GIRL.
PAUL TOLD ME IT WOULD BE FUNNY.>>I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT ALL THEIR
STUFF. I’M SORRY.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES IT’S DIFFICULT FOR AN IMMIGRANT LIKE
ME TO NAVIGATE THIS COUNTRY’S CULTURE.
I GREW UP IN PAKISTAN. AND LIFE THERE IS VERY HARD.
>>YEAH, IT IS. I SPENT TWO YEARS STATIONED IN
KARACHI. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU CAME
TO THE U.S.?>>14 WEEKS OLD.
>>WOW. SO GRETCHEN SPENT MORE TIME IN
PAKISTAN THAN YOU DID. THAT’S CRAZY.
WELL, PAUL, PICK A CATEGORY.>>LET’S GO WITH PICKERS AND
PLUCKERS.>>AND YOU FOUND THE BANK
BREAKER. PAUL, ANSWER THE QUESTION RIGHT,
AND YOU TAKE ALL OF GRETCHEN’S MONEY.
BUT GET IT WRONG, AND SHE TAKES ALL OF YOURS.
QUESTIONS IN THIS CATEGORY ARE ABOUT COUNTRY MUSIC.
>>OH, I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COUNTRY MUSIC.
I’LL PLAY, BARRY.>>ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
DARIUS RUCKER SCORED A 2011 HIT WITH THIS SONG ABOUT A BREAK UP.
>>OH, I GOT NOTHING. I DON’T LISTEN —
>>THAT IS CORRECT. “I GOT NOTHING” IS THE TITLE OF
THAT SONG. WAY TO GET GRETCHEN’S HOPES UP,
MAN. YOU ARE BRUTAL.
>>NO, NO, NO, I WAS TRYING TO LOSE.
I SWEAR IT.>>LET’S GET ROBBY THE ROBBER
OUT HERE TO HELP PAUL STEAL GRETCHEN’S CASH.
>>NO, PLEASE DON’T BRING OUT THE ROBBER GUY.
PLEASE DON’T DO THIS.>>SORRY, GRETCHEN, LOOKS LIKE
THIS MONEY IS FOR JACKETS AND JEANS.
NOT SURGERIES. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA.
>>WOW, PAUL TAKES A HUGE LEAD AND HE’S HEADED INTO ROUND TWO
WITH ALL OF GRETCHEN’S CASH.>>I DON’T WANT THIS.
>>BANK BREAKERS WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪♪♪ [ APPLAUSE ]

100 comments

  1. I don't know the dudes name who is the host of this one, but he is one of the least funny SNL cast members.

  2. My room mate 😂 wearing shirt with writing loser on it & sitting next to that lil girl 😂 omg it was terribly funny 😅😂

  3. Round 3 they introduce gretchen to the woman who she donated her kidney to saving her life. Paul's grandmother.

  4. I remember the, interviewing a guy after winning the lottery. His plan was hookers and cocaine. The interview was shortened very quickly.

  5. It was hard to focus when the mechanism for the vault in the background obviously wouldn't work since turning it would always move half the deadbolts in and half out.

  6. That's a slightly misplaced representation of a Pakistani. They don't win things, they beg. The stealing and robbing part were done to the T though.

  7. I remember Madtv did a similar joke

    "What will you spend your prize money on?"

    "I going to buy new kidneys for.my mom, she's very sick"

    " and what will YOU spend your money on"

    "…..guess I'll be buying kidneys for his mom"

  8. The real joke is that she was lying about everything. Going for the sympathy win. ( Almost worked too.)
    No one who actually needs the money winds up on those game shows. They are too busy working two jobs trying to break even.

  9. Honestly he should have just won the game, taken the money, and given them the money or the surgery and then some.

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