Every Premier League manager reacts matchday 15. I’m gutted to have lost the baldy derby… 23 straight wins to go!
It’s Trevor Sinclair. What the hell is a bin-dipper? Idiot. Thank christ Jeffrey Schlupp scored the winner this week. I think we’ve all had enough of me boasting about my willy recently. Dom Solanke struggled again today. Arsenal fans can rest assured I WON’T be signing him when I’m appointed as their new manager. Though, I won’t be ruling out a loan move for Christian Benteke. Bants! Hahaha. Or should I say, Bents! Hahaha! HAHAHA! West Ham. How do we lose to West Ham… I haven’t seen Jack Grealish wiped out like that since the game against Birmingham City! Oh, and that time he was so pissed he fell asleep in the middle of a road. Jurgen Klopp had better beware okay, because Brendan Rodgers is going to be responsible for Liverpool finishing second in the league for the second time in Brendan Rodgers’ mighty Rodgers career! Erm… has anybody seen the Watford manager? Erm secondly… does anybody even know who the Watford manager is? Anyone? Honestly I can’t take credit for this one. The only reason the lads played so well tonight was because they all absolutely detest Jose. It was like I’d never been away. Standing on the sidelines at Old Trafford watching my team being totally outplayed by a second rate opponent. De ja vu. A great result, not only are we out of the bottom three but Clarence is safe! Wahoo! We may have lost another game but I can say with some confidence, that we will definitely finish in the top twenty. Adama Traore!>Sebastian Haller is really struggling. He was more isolated tonight than Julian Assange in the Ecuadorian Embassy. Never mind foodbanks, somebody needs to set up some pointsbanks for Everton. Boom! I’m really happy with the boys performance today. They conceded five goals against their biggest rivals and could have conceded many, many more. Which massively improves the odds of me having Christmas off! Wahooo! We wish you a merry Xmas!… We got be things could be worse. We could be Everton. Or even worse than that, we could be Arsenal. If have to say, I’m doing an incredible job!
Steve Bruce for prime minister! Jesus Christ, Arsenal are absolutely sh*t. Freddie, how disappointed are you with that defeat… Not this again… Freddie?
Freddie! [I’m going back to being an underpants model!]